Monday, August 17, 2009

My Very Orange Day

This actually happened to me today and I sent this Email to my neighbor. Her husband Floyd was mowing and when he's finished he puts the mower in the barn.

Libby, You won't guess what I did.

After I visited with you I came home & dabbled on the computer for awhile and decided I needed to shut it off and do something to move around. So I decided to get the trash together and take it out to the dumpster.

Over the weekend I cleaned out one of the lower cupboards & found a 3# can of Fiber Therapy. It's Wal-mart's store brand for Metamusil. I had bought orange was powder. It was FULL. It had sat in that cupboard for several years, so I had set it by the trashcan to be thrown out.

When I was getting the trash together I had a brilliant idea. Dump the powder down the sink, because it would make the trash bag heavy, right? then I ran the trash out to the dumpster & waved Hi to you.

When I came back inside I ran alot of water in that kitchen sink & tried to run the disposal. Nothing. That Fiber Therapy had set up and wasn't going anywhere. It had become a 3# ORANGE BLOB.

I had to scoop that slimy clumpy stuff...three pounds worth...and all that orange water out of that sink & disposal and into my bucket. My hands turned orange. I kept scooping was like scooping out a slimy lumpy Halloween Pumpkin. I got the giggles like we got in church when we were girls and the adults were frowning. My hands are orange and I have a Dentist appointment at 10:15 in the morning. This can't be happening. The kitchen

I now have a five gallon bucket FULL of orange fibertherapy & water sitting in the kitchen sink. I HAVE to get rid of it before Larry wakes up for the midnight shift.

I am waiting till almost dark to run out in the backyard and dump it. Floyd is back there mowing. I'm waiting for the barndoors to shut. Whew. Ok, I start downstairs to do the deed and FALL on my BUTT and SLIDE down the stairs. It happened in a Flash reminding me of a Bobsled. I thot of you. I was so stunned. I was carrying a half empty cup of celestial seasoning lukewarm tea & it went everywhere & on me. I am ok. Just some rugburn on the left little foot. I was amazed at how it knocked me senseless...i sat there for awhile & finally got up. It is almost dark out, I gotta hurry.

Oh no, the phone rings. It is my brother calling to say he just got a call & is going to be a great-grandpa. We hang up. Now it is REALLY dark outside. As I head to the backdoor with the five gallon bucketfull of orange my thots were...oh please don't let the handle break. Ok, now I'm outside & hurrah...the barndoors are shut.

I sneak around by the big shed and dump the bucket & there on the ground is a five gallon-size lump...on the ground. I'm Horrified. Good Grief. So I run for the garden hose, but now my thots are...Oh, where is that Mr. Hiss the Gray Rat Snake Constrictor who is nocturnal and hunts at night? I first saw him by the deck & that is where the water faucet handle is. I got the water on & hosed that LUMP for awhile, but it's not going anywhere. If you see squirrels or birds tomorrow with orange faces you will know a nice morning snack greeted them to the new day.
P.S. I will sneak out early in the morning & maneuver it into a bag.

Whew. I'm getting too old for this. -Lynn

No comments: